For past parts - you can now read it here. Thanks.
Time stand still, I'm not looking back. But I want to look around me now see more of the people and the places that surround me now. Freeze this moment a little bit longer. Make each sensation a little bit stronger. Experience slips away...
Our kissed lasted for as long as I can remember, all the way up until I lifted her into my arms and cradled her. She nuzzled her face into my neck and whispered. “Back to my place, Mason,” Her voice was shaking and I wasn’t exactly sure if it was the right thing to do. I mean, why would she suddenly want me to take her there? Maybe it was the wine talking, she was drunk, and me being who I was when I wasn’t sober, I’d take advantage of her. Maybe I wasn’t drunk though, maybe she wasn’t drunk either…
However, I listened to her and I walked all the way to her house with her in my arms. She stayed in the same position and all cuddled in my arms and I can tell you even if I was dead and hardly showed any emotion – this feeling was the absolute best feeling I’d ever felt throughout all when I was alive and now well dead.
She reached into her pocket and handed me the keys to open her door; I quickly got it open and entered with her still in my arms. She once again whispered to me, telling me to put her on the couch. I obligated and sat directly in front of her; I took her into my arms and rocked her against me. I felt like I had to protect her. Whether or not I needed to or wanted to, I still did it. She sighed softly and slowly pulled back. When we let go completely she was looking into my eyes again with her sweet and innocent look; the one that drove me up the bloody wall.
A sound of a graveling startled the both of us suddenly against the window, I turned to look quickly and saw it, standing there looking through the window – spying – something – anything, what the fuck did he want? “He’s back again, he’s jealous, he wants to watch us.” Daisy acknowledged.
I shook my head. “That’s absurd, why won’t he just go away?!” I couldn’t help but be awfully scared about this. I tried to shoe him away and for a moment it didn’t move, but to my surprise it ran off. I took in a deep breath. “Daisy, I’m sorry.” I hung my head in shame.
“Shhh, Mason, no; it’s the both of us. I’m bad luck remember?”
“Hell, I’m bad luck too, Daisy. I’m fucking bad luck; you’ve been hanging with me too much…” I admitted, my head was still down, I was afraid to look into her eyes.
She brought my chin up for me to look at her. “That doesn’t matter, what matters is that I need you, I need you Mason. I need you to protect me from him, the nightmares, the others who don’t understand me, the people who hurt me, the past, and lastly the one thing I need most from you is for you to be you,” She paused and took a deep breath, she wasn’t done. “You, the person I fell in love with.” She bit her bottom lip hurriedly after that as if she wanted to stop talking.
I gulped, my eyes closed and I tried to absorb that proclamation. I took in a deep breath and opened my eyes as they found hers staring directly back into mine. I smiled tenderly and said the words without restraint. “Daisy Adair, I love you too.”
But whatever I said, I got scared. I jump up from her and I think this is all this a dream and I was going to wake up any second. I was dead, what feelings did I have to fall in love with someone? I doubted it all too quickly too. I breathed in and saw her hurt look as I backed away leaning towards the door. She didn’t say anything to me either. I stayed there for a moment trying to get this right. Maybe I could start over.
I can't go on, but I can't stop going. I can't leave this misery, this euphoria, this enslavement, this freedom. All my dreams turn into smoke and disappear in the wind. I become nothing and she becomes everything, everything.
Finally, I am there. I rush to be enveloped in her. I feel and touch and breathe and my heart pounds and my mind races and there is nothing, nothing but her. She welcomes me in with a serious look on her face. Her fingers and hands and lips touch me and we fall together, holding pulling devouring each other. I think that everything I have gone through has been echoed in her. I feel her terrible desire in the hollow of my chest; I feel her want flow into me, filling me, expanding me. I feel her pulse in my veins and I become more than I am.
I am whole now. She kisses me, her mouth open, and I inhale her exhaled breath. We hold each other and kiss and breathe into each other's mouths and we are truly one. I am immortal.
We are immortal. We have existed as long as time. There is no time, there is no here, there are no reasons. Love and Lust are equal and we exist only in this timeless reasonless placeless void of each other.
I want to be inside of her. I want to be buried inside of her. I want to be inside of her skin, I want to feel what she feels and to experience her completely. She gives herself to me as thoroughly as I give myself to her and we fall -- we fall into one another and we become something other -- we become us...
I let my past go too fast
No time to pause
If I could slow it all down
Like some captain
Whose ship runs aground
I can wait until the tide
Make each impression
A little bit stronger
Freeze this motion
A little bit longer
The innocence slips away.